daniellefloats

the created void

2009-04-15T16:01:50Z

i think it takes a lot to realize the good and bad in your life. to prune and nurture the plant that is your existence. i am really sick of being used, whether it be in friendships or relationships or even in my family life. i think i have been taken for granted this past year and i hoped for a change when 2009 started. now im pinned to the corner and being forced to change my every day life, and so help me god, im going to do it right this time. i think i should have realized who was right for me in the begining and has stuck it through all this drama and shit that is my life.

whatever. i dont care. im going to see ace enders, all american rejects, and shiny toy guns tommorow.
HALLER :D

day 22 : you should know

2009-03-09T01:08:21Z

i guess what im going to have to learn is that life doesnt go the way you want it to.
you gain and loose people
the things you deem most significant in your life may start to fade
but its time, its finally time for me to take charge of what i want and who i want.
im done with people making these decisions in MY life.
life, love, happiness - im taking control now
and nobody is going to stop me.

ladies and gentlemen - my name is danielle.
i am strong, and i am full of love.
and i am done playing these games.
i am more grown up than youd ever have guessed.

"if i have the luck of finding love just once, id want it to be you."

day 21 : 1000 times a day

2009-01-11T00:58:58Z

i guess this is the road i was meant to travel. im on the path of self discovery, finally.

whats been going on these months,

i finally saw one of my favorite bands - bring me the horizon.
i hugged oli, and met curtis and matt. it was brilliant.

other than that, im trying to figure out my place in a lot of things and well see how it goes.

exams wens thurs and fri :/ wish me luck.

"so then we got to talking and before we knew it we were always on the phone talking until 4 in the morning"

day 20 : rain

2008-11-16T20:26:52Z

i went to an amazing show last night. so heres the rundown.

i got ready, and at 5:30 i got to jades house. jessica arrived and by 6:00 mal picked us up and we went on our way to the magic stick in detroit to see hellogoodbye, nevershoutnever! and ace enders and a million different people.

me and mal debated whether we should wear our coats since we were only wearing tshirts and it was 30ish degree weather. we chose not to. and waited in line for 30 minutes. needless to say, we were freezing. but as soon as we got inside, i was glad i didnt wear my coat. i immediately went into the crowd so i wouldnt be too far in the back when nevershoutnever! started, i got to about 4th row, and by this time i had lost the girls. but this usually happens. they ended up going to higher ground so they could see better. hah. so christopher drew came on and he was amazing, but i felt like i was at a jonas brother concert.
after he was done playing his set, some people left and i moved up more, and then i found out PLAYRADIOPLAY! was going to be playing - which i had no idea because it wasnt on the list. when i found out about the show. so i was fricken stoked. what was sad was, i was singing along but not a lot of people were because they were all there for either nevershoutnever! or hellogoodbye. he did a great job, regardless.
next up was ace enders and a million different people which i truly was the most excited for. and i cant say anything less, but he was brilliant. his music is so original and he is so tallented. ive been a fan since he was in the early november and it was just great to see him live,
hellogoodbye was next but i knew it was going to get intense and i was already dehydrated and tired as it was so i left. i found the girls and i told them if we wanted to meet anyone we should walk around. so i went to go get water and when i was drinking, forrest kline from hellogoodbye passed by me. so i kinda tapped him on the arm and he was the sweetest guy and he was holding my hand and i asked him for a picture, which he "was glad" to take with me. and then i took the picture for the girls with him. we walked around a bit more and we spotted dan from playradioplay! and did the picture thing. he was really shy and reserved. which i could expect from his music. we also spotted the guitarist from ace enders and a million different people and took a picture with him.
so we walked around a bit more, met the bassist from ace enders band and then we were standing around at a table. i noticed and i realised we were standing next to the drummer from ace enders band. so i introduced myself and he was extremely cool. we ended up talking for about 30 minutes. i had him call my friend chris and we talked about music and names and he got us free water. hah. then i told him that i hadnt seen ace so that if he saw him to just point him our way. he told me he would and then 5 minutes later he said he needed to get something. he came back a little bit, WITH ACE. i almost flipped my shit. i was so star struck i didnt know what to say to him.
so the show ended and me and the girls were waiting in line to meet christopher drew and ace enders band was leaving - so i went "HOWIEEE" and he came and he said goodbye to everyone and he hugged me and told me that i had made his night. it made me really happy. we met christopher. he was a complete sweetheart.
afterwards, we went to mcd's and then we got home. it was a great night. ive never been so happy.

me and ace

me and howie

"rain, i'm filled with lust and pain. so take me back to three years, when we all looked the same"

day 19 : the impatient will suffer

2008-11-01T21:19:39Z

should i just leave behind everything ive worked so hard for?
i dont know why i go through these motions.
if i could just go back and redo some things, would it make a difference.

youve now got me thinking and i dont know how ill survive.
have i changed somebody's life?
have a i bettered my own?
or has everything i done been for nothing?

everything i do will fail. everything i do will fail.
EVERYTHING I DO, WILL FAIL

i hate today...

"i saw a man on top of the world. crushed by the fear of his maker. and it is coming down to what means the most to you. it feels so right when everything is in your hands."

day 18 : sleep

2008-10-15T22:49:48Z

i dont think ive had this good of a day in awhile.

i woke up at 5:45 and got ready for school. chris picked me, shelby, scarlette, and ken up and we went to pheonix coney island. victor, lindsay, victor's sister and matt met us up there. 4 bucks for hash browns, eggs, bacon, toast and orange juice. it was great. and that started off my good day. i went to school so happy. my teacher didnt come for half my first hour and we just chilled while i listened to disney songs with haily. i went to 2nd hour and we convinced my teacher to watch mean girls. 3rd hour, i created a story with my friend rachel about how tupac was living in bob saget. 4th hour, i learned about polygamist mormans and i dont think ive laughed so hard in that class. 5th hour, we watched a boring alexander the great documentary but he gave us 20 minutes in the end to ourself. and 6th hour was just really chill. i hung out with jess til 4 and got home. took a nap til 6 and am now righting this

im getting ready to look up cults online for sociology.

good day? id say so.
of course there is always something and someone that could put the cherry one the top of this sundae, but im gonna have to be happy with what ive got.

:D
-danielle

"am i sleeping with my eyes wide? am i alone? am i following the lines on faces never shone? i want to see your hairline, your cheekbones, your red lips on your cell phone. won't you let me know?"

day 17 : body like mind

2008-10-14T02:14:04Z

ive got comfort whenever i need it, with the friends i hold dear.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, JACKIE, the cake was delicious.
and a HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, KATIE from yesterday. im sorry things have took a turn for the worse. you deserve happiness and one day youll find it.

i had reason to be upset yesterday, but today, when i thought i wasnt going to be doing great, i had my friends. and i thank them for that.

maddy elizabeth, it seems dim now, but things will get better for you.
you also made me realize something
"its always darkest before the dawn"
and that is completely true

i love my life but i need stability and someone to make these days less lonely would be nice.
but they always come along when you least expect it i guess.

-danielle

"ive got blood running though my veins, but im sick and tired of the fakest face telling me to smile. not quite losing faith, just giving it time to make up its mind."

day 16 : sam malone

2008-10-13T02:05:51Z

im going to say i know it wasnt easy.
and i understand these words
but the heart will beat on regardless
and my mind will go on learning.

just thank you for these weeks of bliss and comfort
it meant a lot.

-danielle

"and i know there is some place i can go, where no one knows my name."

day 15 : chin up

2008-10-12T05:42:39Z

i need to become me. my own independent person. i want my life to go in the right direction - and hopefully now im finally doing that.
im still hoping something good comes out of this and that i am not giving my heart so someone who cannot take it. i have faith, that in good or bad, life always has a way of changing, sculpting, and arranging your life to lead you to an exact purpose. one day it will glitter brightly for me, and all i will have to do is grab it.

what happened today : i woke up, my parents went up north to work on the cottage, i stayed home. i was picked up by chris at three and he dropped me off at subway. work went pretty fast. i got everything done i needed to. then chris and john smith came to my work, picked me up and we went back to chris' house. he got a bunch of the guys together and played poker. i sat on the couch watching degrassi with his mum, his sister victoria and scarlette. scartlette had to leave with her brother, ken and victoria and chris' mum went to bed and i watched boondock saints with chris' dad when he came home. but it was a good night. i got home at around 1.

hopefully tomorrow will be good.

-danielle

"back to where we started, losing who we were, maybe we should only tip a bottle back to keep us filled up"

day 14 : drive my soul

2008-09-24T01:35:47Z

hopefully some good will come of this
and im not wasting my time

-danielle

"there's no borders, there's no lines. how can i know where to turn?"

day 13 : smoke break

2008-09-14T22:36:21Z

i have to leap over these issues
or i am never going to survive.
one day everything is going to be how it is meant to be,
and all these problems are going to be insignificant.

its all going to be ok.
these tears and times will bring us to our next life.
they heal all wounds

-danielle

day 12 : ever so sweet

2008-09-03T02:00:51Z

heres how my first day of school went -

i woke up, did my hair, eyebrows, eyeliner - ate some cereal. i then went to my sister, who was leaving to china for 2 years. i said goodbye and stuff. it was really sad. gerard called and picked me up. we picked up austen and then drove to school. that went good. the whole day was exellent. i have great classes, friends in each one, and my teachers are super cool. im so nervous though. i graduate this year, and have no idea what i want to do. ill figure it out though. i have faith. lol. i had work from 4-7 and then i rode my bike home.

anywayyys, im leaving this short. i got to get to bedd.
schools awaitnnn

-danielle

" ...ever so sweet, you make this seem. the way things go... it's not my fault. and i'll miss, i'll miss you so good... all of those nights, we lost our way back home."

day 11 : courtship dating

2008-09-01T23:45:55Z

i woke up, watched some rob and big and then went to dye my hair purple. its only temporary. i dont like the thought of permanete hair dye because of the fact that it can grow out and i have to keep getting it redone. annnnyways. its really sweet. my mother doesnt like it, but everyone else loves it. joe left back to kettering and jessica then came over, i finished cleaning - she printed off papers for jade. we drove back to jessicas house to check in with her parents and they told us to get pizza. so we drove to jades house and jessica ordered. we got to jades and chilled for 20ish minutes. we all went to jets pizza and got the goods. she then drove me home and i ate pasta with the family. i got my books and stuff ready for school and picked my outfit. now jessicas coming over to see what im wearing. hah.

anywayyys.
schools tomorrow. this summer went by so fast. i cant believe it. but it was amazing. and im going to miss it.

great summer<3
-danielle

"stove burns on my hands, show them to my friends"

day 10 : for the longest time

2008-09-01T23:38:13Z

today wasnt that bad.
my brother and sister were here. we hung around the house - then at about 5:00 the family [except grandma] went to taco loco. we ate there - and then we went to the park and walked around. after that we went to eat ice cream. i had a caramel sunday. we got home and chilled the rest of the night, but it was really fun. it was good family time since my sister is leaving so soon. im going to miss her a lot.
hopefully shes coming to visit - and wont stay there for 2 years nonstop.

anyways. people are coming back tommorow, so it should be a little more active.

-danielle

"i see the light behind your eyes. the whole thing catches me in a moment by surprise"

day 9 : elephant gun

2008-08-31T03:49:17Z

im going to make this brief

i woke up, mowed the backyard, grilled some ribs, chilled around the house and watched jackass with my sister and dad.

thats it. nothing else.
i promise

hope for something more eventful tommorow :]

-danielle

"if i was young, id flee this town. id bury my dreams underground"

day 8 : crash into me

2008-08-30T00:41:03Z

ahhh. its going to be a long weekend.

i woke up at 11ish. i then headed to various shoe stores with my sister and mum. i got some chicken at flaming wok when we got to the mall. which is the best thing ever. we walked around. i went into hot topic and said hi to one of the guys im chill with. i went to journeys - they had the shoes ive wanted for awhile. im probably going to buy them this week, so im excited for that. afterwards, we went home, ate some more, and we went to drop my sister off someplace so our cousins could pick her up for the night. we then went to another shoe store and i finally got my shoes. i loveee them. im going to be getting converses later this year. the ones i have now are so old :/

but yeah, everyones up north. we were supposed to go, but my grandma wasnt feeling up to it.

all in all, at the moment im like - exhausted
so i guess this is all for tonight :/

-danielle

"tied up and twisted. the way Id like to be. for you, for me, come crash into me"

day 7 : the comedown

2008-08-29T02:45:13Z

i had a good day today. i got to sleep in for the first time in awhile - for the reason i have no work til tuesday. i then took a shower and did my laundry. chris, jackie and sasha picked me up at 4:30ish. we then picked up shelby and then headed back to chris' house. victor and ashley were chillin. victor then dropped off ashley at her friends house and picked up lindsay. we all sat around watching flight of the conchords - which was amazing. then at 7 we headed to the football game. we met up with sarah, greg, and dizzy. and i met up with brian, dan, and jeff from 3rd grade. it was pretty cool. after i left them, we hung out with david, trevor. after the game ended [which we won] we [chris, jackie, sasha, mallory, shelby, greg, sarah, dizzy, david, lindsay, and victor] then went to mcdonalds. it was pretty cool.

but overall - a good day.
i just wish someone could be a bit more mature. kinda sucks that it has to be like how it is though. anywayyys
yeahh.
:]

-danielle

"ive made my bed so i'll lie in it. ive dug my grave so god help me, die in it."

day 6 : stars and boulevards

2008-08-28T03:31:24Z

this day was a pleasant change from the past 2. i woke up at 9 and went to the dentist to get my replacement retainer. i then went to khols to look around while picking up my mom. we went shoe "viewing" [we didnt actually get anything] and then we went to sams club, where we ate every free sample they offered. hah. then i went to work, which i was a bit late for - and i worked til 7:30. i went to jessicas house and chilled with mallory and jade til 10. we took a bunch of pictures we went to 7-11 and this guy was telling mallory she had a nice ass - which she then shook at him. i got home and ate while watching the girls next door. now im up here writing this.

im pretty satisfied. im probably going to go to the football game with chris and some of the gang tomorrow. [jess and jade are going upnorth :/]

other than that, i havent really been depressed or anything - so all is good :]
god i sound emo.

-danielle

"oh...seems like im always on my own, seems like I'm never coming home. all the stars and boulevards ain't close enough for you..."

day 5 : everything i once had

2008-08-27T03:17:07Z

i hate the place where i am. i mean, why am i complaining? i have great friends, a family that cares about me and yet that one thing holds me back? its not fair - and then i go back to that saying "life isnt fair". one day i will wake up, and everything will be where it supposed to be.

what a lie, huh?

today was a rush - i woke up at 10, called my orthodontist for a replacement retainer, called the school [but they werent picking up] and then left to work. i got home at 4:20, and hung around the house. ive been around here ever since. hows that for a fun filled day. im now talking to this kid from my old school that i havent talked to since the 3rd grade. and going back to my depressed state of mind, which i wasnt in 4 seconds ago. i hate this so much.

i just need some help to figure myself out, because right now, im not doing so good.

ill write more tommorow - if something eventful happens.

-danielle

"now i'm holding my face in the basement. scratching away for any trace of affection you will leave; falling victim to the publics prey."

day 4 : times

2008-08-26T04:33:07Z

not one of my best days - which isnt that big of a surprise because i had such a good day yesterday. i woke up, cleaned the kitchen and i got a call at around 1 that they wanted me in 2 hours early for work. and my mum wasnt home, so that meant no car. so i rode my bike at 3, worked til 8, then got home. ive been around the house ever since.

ive just been in the stupidest mood lately. i cant stop crying and this is the lowest ive felt for the longest time. im afraid of loosing people i love. like, take for instance - if your best friend lived all the way around the world, youd kind of feel like a nuscence if you wanted to call them to tell them your problems. its another side problem thats causing it, but its not even big enough to be an issue. and this dream i had last night didnt help.

im not saying that i am the queen of "acting mature" but i wish people would. im not that hard to be around or to keep under control. i just miss the people i love and there is no concrete way of getting things back to how they were, because if you want one thing, you have to eliminate a bunch of people to get the other thing. you cant even begin to understand how much i miss china, but i couldnt imagine my life without my friends here, and if i went to china, id feel so out of place. im not saying thats the issue, but its how i think of things. you can never do one thing properly, because something is always going to be holding you back.

im just a mess tonight. i have work from 11-4 tomorrow, so hopefully i go out or something afterwards.

i hope everyone is having a better night than me

-danielle

"i love to see you, and its been so long. i long to feel you. i feel this need for you, and i need to hear you. is that so wrong?"

day 3 : the peoples elbow

2008-08-26T04:19:18Z

so today was amazing, to be brief. i woke up at 10ish and then chilled around the house til 1:30. then chris picked me up with shelbs and we went to taco bell. after we ate, we went to chris' house to wait for mallory. she came after a couple of minutes and we then left to the beat cafe. we got there, met up with victor and the rest of the king must die, david, casey, mhiles, sarah, michele, danny, and lindsay. we went to see the king must die, and then shelbs and danny left. the band left a little after. we band hopped and chilled for a little. we then went to mcdonalds to get some grub. when we got back we saw "oh the blood" and they were amazing. i bought an attack attack! shirt - which was 20 bucks. we then went to the playground and told jokes, came back and saw some other bands. at around 10:00ish, attack attack! went on. i cant tell you how much i loved it. i was singing the whole time and the screamer, austin, kept putting the mic in my face. it was so sweet. i got one of their water bottles and afterwards i got pictures/signatures from them. they are the nicest guys. we stayed a little for wcar but left. and now im home writing this.

so overall, amazing day and im very happy.

:]

-danielle

"the true one, will fall, so hard baby, and thats why this hurts"

day 2 : radiator

2008-08-24T00:45:10Z

sleeping in til 11:55 is a great thing. this is the first time ive slept in in several weeks. but anyways - i woke up and did the bathroom and my room. my brother drove my sister down from ann arbor. he lives in flint. but my sister came back here for a week before she moves to china for 2 years, the lucky bitch. anyways, after i finished all my stuff, i chilled around the house til about 6:30 when jess picked me up to go to her house to clean her car she got from her grandparents. that lasted an hour when i had to go home. we had to give david his ticket, so we stopped by his house while he scrounged for money - which took forever. but we played with his adorable dog baley. jess dropped me off and im sitting here. summerfest is tomorrow and im super excited. here is the lineup -

1:00 PM DOORS OPEN
1:30 PM SEVEN STORY FALL
2:00 PM SUNLIGHT ASCENDING
2:30 PM A NIGHT TO DIE FOR
3:00 PM DREAM IN STEREO
3:30 PM THE KING MUST DIE
4:00 PM MILES FROM VEGAS
4:30 PM INSPIRATION ISNT CHEAP
5:00 PM REDSTAR REDEMPTION
5:30 PM OH THE BLOOD
6:00 PM I AM ABOMINATION
6:30 PM THAT WAS SOMETHING
7:00 PM CLOSE TO HOME
7:30 PM WHAT HAPPENED IN VEGAS
8:10 PM FOR ALL WE KNOW
8:50 PM ATTACK ATTACK!
9:30 PM WE CAME AS ROMANS

im really excited to see my friend victors band - the king must die, a night to die for, close to home, what happened in vegas, for all we know, attack attack!, and wcar. it should be excellent. im going with mallory, victor, chris, and possibly david. its going to be an awesome show. i should be home at midnight tommorow, so ill write about it then :]

-danielle

"hello future, hello birth. this is your newborn universe, there is no longer wrong or right."

day 1 : day old hate

2008-08-23T00:04:45Z

so its been a long day. i wanted to sleep in till 9:30, but my grandma ended up waking me up. her back was hurting. so i got up and got her water and some food and then put her back to bed. i lounged around the house til around 10:30, and i rode my bike to work [my parents had the cars]. it was busy in the beginning but it slowed down and for the last hour i pretty much hung out. i got home and did the lawn, and then jessica walked over. this pigeon i had started feeding around 4 days ago was sitting on my roof, and i started to clean the driveway of the bird crap, and it flew down in front of me and looked like it was going to attack me, so i sprayed water at it, the little bastard. so anyways -im freaked out the bird is going to come after me like the seagulls in "the birds". other than that, im sitting here, getting ready to take a shower, and then jessica is coming back over to chill and watch movies.

tomorrow is completely open, it should be better.
and sunday is summerfest - with attack attack! and wcar :]

-danielle

"so drown me and if you can. or we could just have conversation. and i fall, i fall, i falter, but I'll find you before I drift away"

introduction

2008-08-22T04:27:38Z

hello, im danielle
    i guess i made this to express myself, or write daily whats going on in my little life. im 17 years old and i was born on june 9th [also johnny depps birthday, who i am a huge fan of by the way]. i know a lot of people say it -but i am truly one of a kind. i am my own person and i dont try to be like anyone. music is my life. i go to shows frequently and i am not a girl who stands to be in the back of the crowd. i have great friends, who love me for who i am, but i have learned not to become dependent on anyone. i love them with all my heart though and whenever i need them, they have never disappointed me. i lived in shanghai, china for 5 years of my life [2000-2005] but for all the other years, ive lived in sterling heights, michigan. shanghai made some of the best years of my life, and i miss it dearly everyday. i live to laugh, anyone who is a good joke-teller is automatically good in my book. i truly think what pablo neruda said was true - "laughter is the music of the soul". i love watching tv and movies. my favorite movie[s] of all time is the lord of the ring trilogy and that is the absolute truth. i watch anything on E!, nickelodeon, discovery channel, history channel, animal planet, national geographic and everything in between like will and grace, whose line is it anyways and so forth. i love the godfather, boondock saint and mafia movies - i also love movies that make me laugh and movies that make me cry, but i hate scary movies. i am not a girl that is that experienced in relationships. ive had my fair share of crushes and flings, but i just had my first kiss and boyfriend this year, and that lasted for 2 weeks. i am most definitely looking for someone that can make me laugh and makes my silly behaviors seem normal. im not a girly girl, but i am not a tomboy. i love wearing jeans and tshirts [and thats what you will usually see me in]. i usually know/am interested in things guys are [movies, jokes...etc], and i think thats why they dont go for me - because they see me as just a friend in that sense. i i have never been on a roller coster and i dont eat seafood. i love food, i eat anything. my favorite food is sweet and sour chicken. i love to laugh, even though it sounds retarded. but overall, i am an incredibly complex person, but im simple to understand when you get the hang of me.

    i figure if i want to do writing in my life, i need to construct my writing little by little, and this should help me. i do a little bit of poetry but nothing to really put me on some sort of a chart. i will probably put some of my poetry on here when they are constructed.

    i think this is ok for my first "entry" and i think youll be hearing a lot more from me as this year goes on.

    -danielle